


No Matter What

by NightOfTheLand



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Deacury Week 2019, Discussion of Abortion, M/M, Mpreg, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-03
Updated: 2019-12-03
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:01:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21658681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NightOfTheLand/pseuds/NightOfTheLand
Summary: John and Freddie have serious conversations about family.Day Two of Deacury Week 2019!
Relationships: John Deacon/Freddie Mercury
Comments: 3
Kudos: 33
Collections: Deacury Week 2019





	No Matter What

**Author's Note:**

> Day Two of Deacury Week 2019 (a day late cause I’m the worst) Prompt: Family 
> 
> There is serious discussion of abortion and implication that one happens off screen if that upsets you and/or you don’t like that please don’t read and please don’t leave disparaging comments, I’ve been called all the names before. 
> 
> Anyway, happy Day Two! Hope you enjoy!

John could feel the panic rising in his chest. This, this couldn’t be happening. He was barely 20. He couldn’t be a parent. He couldn’t possibly take care of a child. He could barely take care of himself! Oh god, he was going to be sick. Again. He brought a trembling hand over his mouth and tried to stifle his sobs not wanting Freddie to hear him. He curled in on himself on the cold bathroom floor and drew his knees up to his chest and pressed his face into the tops of his knees. What if Freddie wanted it? What if Freddie expected him to have it? What if? What if? What if? 

Sob after sob left him, unable to keep himself from weeping now, the worry of Freddie hearing him be damned. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t do this. 

A warm hand on his shoulder startled him and he jerked his head up to look into the sweet worried warm eyes of his lover. “John,” Freddie murmured softly, eyes darting to the abandoned pregnancy tests on the floor. 

“I’m sorry,” John sobbed, pressing his face back into his drawn-up knees, “I’m sorry I’m sorry.” He couldn’t stop saying those words even as Freddie drew him into a warm embrace. 

“Shhh,” Freddie’s hands were warm where they were stroking up and down his back, his voice like a gentle embrace, “Breathe for me, darling, that’s it, in and out. Just like that, good job.” 

John sucked in shuddering breath after shuddering breath, hoping he’d feel the knot in his chest begin to loosen. Instead, he just felt like he was going to be sick again. Just the idea of  _ it  _ made him want to die. “I can’t do it,” he gasped out between wavering breaths, “I can’t, I can’t!” 

Freddie let him pull away from the embrace, and John couldn’t look at him, couldn’t bear to see the disappointment on his face, the disgust in his eyes. “John, baby, look at me,” Freddie requested softly, hooking a finger under John’s chin. 

Brown eyes were worried but there was no disgust there when John finally looked up. Something slowly began to unclench in his chest and a small glimmer of hope began to gleam in the darkness. “I’m here for you, no matter what, okay?” Freddie said, giving John a soft encouraging smile, “No matter what.” 

John nodded softly and let Freddie pull him back into a tight hug. It would be okay. Freddie was going to support him in his decision and it would be okay. 

**10 years later**

John sighed in frustration and tugged at his now short hair. He didn’t understand why Freddie couldn’t understand his point of view. “I don’t want to carry them, Fred, why is that so hard to understand,” John said, trying to sound as calm and reasonable as he didn’t feel. 

“I don’t understand, darling! You love kids!” Freddie was all but glaring at him from across the room and John wondered when they had gotten to this point. 

“I do love kids,” John conceded softly, “But, Freddie, you  _ know  _ the very thought…” he trailed off looking down at his hands, lacing his fingers together and squeezing. He took a deep shuddering breath, “The thought of carrying them makes me want to die,” he finally blurted out and he saw Freddie frown at him. 

“It wouldn’t be like…” 

“I don’t care that it wouldn’t be like last time! I care that I would be pregnant and that very thought makes me sick!” John interrupted, shoving himself off the couch, hands balled into fists at his side. “What happened to ‘I’m here for you no matter what’?” 

Something shattered in Freddie at John’s words and he made a soft wounded noise. “Fuck, John,” he said, his fist to his mouth, eyes wide as he stared at him, “I’m so sorry.” 

John stood stiffly as Freddie crossed the room to wrap him in a hug. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize, darling, I’ll do it,” Freddie’s words were soft as he pressed his face to John’s shoulder. 

“What?” John could barely believe his ears. 

Warm brown eyes red-rimmed and puffy looked up at him. “I’ll do it, if we want. I don’t understand completely everything about how you feel, but I shouldn’t push you, I’m sorry, I love you. If we want to have a family, I will do it,” Freddie’s soft smile turned wicked suddenly as he leaned in to whisper into John’s ear, “Besides having your naked cock in me sounds delicious.” 

“Freddie!” John gasped feeling his face heat from Freddie’s words and the other man laughed loudly before pulling John in for a kiss. They both knew this hadn’t healed the rift between them on this particular subject, but it was a good step in the right direction. 

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know if you liked it!


End file.
